A little levity in Indian Hills

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You never know what message the sign at the Indian Hills Community Center might offer. But one thing is certain: It draws the attention of motorists on Parmalee Gulch Road.

Some of the weekly slogans are funny; others are thought-provoking riddles. And a few have created quite a stir.

“I try to keep something up there that will make people smile,” says Indian Hills resident Vince Rozmiarek, who places the weekly messages on the sign. “I’ve adopted it. It’s really fun.”

Rozmiarek's first missive two years ago was meant as an April Fools' Day joke, he said. But a lot of people took it seriously.

“Indian Hills annexed by Morrison. Slow down,” the sign proclaimed in bold, black letters on April 1, 2012.

“I put it on at 4 a.m.,” Rozmiarek said. “I knew it would catch a lot of people.”

Some Indian Hills residents were outraged at the thought of their independent community being incorporated into Morrison, he said. Rozmiarek ran into people at the post office and other places who were fuming over the alleged takeover. And regulars at Sit n Bull were enraged, he said. Until Rozmiarek came clean.

Rozmiarek says he likes to poke fun at Morrison because the town's police department and its speed trap annoy him.

“Morrison faux protection is a ruse for cash collection,” the sign said earlier this year.

Morrison collects a lot of revenue in fines from tickets for minor traffic violations such as going a few miles over the speed while driving through the town, he notes. However, it is Indian Hills Fire Rescue volunteers who respond to most calls for service on U.S. 285, including many traffic accidents, Rozmiarek says.

Rozmiarek also has made a couple of political statements with his sign postings, such as one that read: “Vote early. Vote often. Vote for Pedro,” a message alluding to miscalculations in counting votes in elections.

Rozmiarek didn’t want to discuss a few controversial messages. Their political incorrectness made some people unhappy.

A recent message, “Blues singer haunted by happy past,” did not draw criticism, he said. And “Award winning cow outstanding in his field,” also was quietly received.

“I get ideas from all over,” he says. “I’ve got a few more bullets in the gun.”

The limitations of the sign in terms of the number of words he can use create a challenge, he adds. And during football season, Rozmiarek says he keeps “Go Broncos” posted at the bottom at all times.

“I’m a big Broncos fan,” he said.

Besides being a source of humorous insight, the sign also serves a valuable function in letting people in the community know about events and meetings, he said.

People wanting to make comments about the messages have an easy time reaching Rozmiarek, who manages the Indian Hills Community Center. The number for reaching him is on the opposite side of the sign, which Rozmiarek rebuilt a few years ago.

The community center, which is an expansion of an old schoolhouse that once served Indian Hills, is a good place to rent for functions such as meetings and weddings, Rozmiarek says.

Contact Sandy Barnes at sandy@evergreenco.com.