Sheriff's Calls

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An Offbeat Look at Area Crime

Fonzie gone bad

EVERGREEN — About 1 p.m. on the afternoon of Sept. 9, the burly biker on the choice chopper rumbled up to the pump and picked the “pay inside” option. Trouble was, he didn’t pay inside, or at all, instead roaring off south on Evergreen Parkway toward the lake with a tank-full of pinched petroleum product. The cashier described the recreant rider as white and middle-aged, his bike as black with a wind-screen, and the business’ surveillance cameras as asleep with their electronic eyes open. Since the clerk didn’t note the louse’s license, the case is idling.


The Voice

EVERGREEN — Groggy calls starting coming in about 1 a.m. on Sept. 4 regarding a shout-fest in progress in the area of Brook Forest Drive and County Road 73. Responding deputies contacted a full-throated young wrangler in the parking lot with a burr under his saddle. Wrangler said he’d “gone out” with his sweetheart that evening, and when she dropped him off at his uncle’s house, they’d begun fighting about “stuff.” He admitted using his outside voice to such powerful effect that Uncle soon appeared to stifle him before he could wake the neighbors, who by that time were already up and on the phone to Golden. Uncle’s advent was the distraction Sweetheart needed to excuse herself from the argument all together, at which Wrangler redirected his piercing polemics at Uncle. Wrangler demanded to be allowed inside to retrieve his cell phone, presumably to call Sweetheart using minutes purchased by Uncle. Uncle said that until Wrangler could rein in his passions, he was better off outside and unplugged. Wrangler told deputies he’d stay with a friend for the rest of the evening. Uncle said he could come get his phone in the morning. Deputies drove Wrangler to his buddy’s house. The neighbors fell back into the welcoming arms of Somnos.


Open-door policy renounced

NORTH TURKEY CREEK — On the morning of Sept. 8, the Starlight Drive resident stepped outside to find the doors of both of his cars standing wide open and welcoming. Although nothing inside the cars appeared to be missing or mussed, he still wanted JCSO to give the violated vehicles a thorough once-over. Deputies did, but found no useful evidence. The complainant said he didn’t remember leaving the doors open himself but allowed for that possibility. Either way, he said he’d probably start locking his cars at night.