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Sheriff's Calls

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An Offbeat Look at Area Crime

Bracket-eering

EVERGREEN — Because Mrs. Wynn has a habit of entering whatever sweepstakes, contest or drawing shows up in her daily mail, she wasn’t entirely skeptical when a man identifying himself as “Attorney Parker” phoned on March 4 to inform her that she’d just won $500,000. To ensure that nothing stood between her and her winnings, Mrs. Wynn informed an employee of her residential facility that Attorney Parker would be dropping by the next day to deliver her check and “get some tax information,” and she asked that he be shown directly to her room. Suspecting the odds favored some kind of confidence game, the employee told Mrs. Wynn that Attorney Parker was likely a scam artist and promised he would not be allowed into the building under any circumstances. Perhaps accustomed to the cold shoulder, Attorney Parker placed a follow-up call to Mrs. Wynn the next day. Learning that he wouldn’t be able to meet with the lucky winner personally, he asked Mrs. Wynn for information regarding her “tax bracket.” Mrs. Wynn explained that she occupied “a very low tax bracket,” at least until Attorney Parker’s check cleared. “OK, thanks,” said Attorney Parker. “I’ll get back to you.” Mrs. Wynn hasn’t heard from him since. The doubtful employee informed JCSO of the exchange, and deputies asked to be informed if Attorney Parker makes any further attempts to counsel his client.

 

An open-and-shut case

CONIFER — After running a few errands on the morning of March 3, the Eagle Cliff Road resident returned home to discover her front door ajar. Inside, she further discovered her refrigerator door hanging open. Believing both conditions could have resulted from off-hour and unauthorized visitations by one of the several contractors engaged in remodeling her house, on the afternoon of March 3 she had all the locks changed. After running a few errands on the afternoon of March 4, however, she returned home to find her inside dog running around outside and the front door once again standing ajar. She summoned deputies to investigate, but officers could find no evidence of forced entry, and nothing appeared to be missing or manhandled. Aside from the contractors, she could think of no one capable of moving freely about the house in her absence, leaving a trail of open doors and refrigerators in their wake, and neither could her kids. Deputies scheduled extra patrols of her location and left the door open for further investigation.

 

The graduate

NORTH TURKEY CREEK — Feeling nostalgic on the afternoon of March 7, the reflective fellow rang the elementary school’s front doorbell and was buzzed into the front office. He introduced himself as a proud alumnus, and begged leave to “walk around and see what’s changed.” His name being familiar to at least one staffer, he was granted permission to take a stroll down memory lane so long as he didn’t enter any classrooms. About 10 minutes later, the school’s principal encountered the sentimental sightseer in the hallway and asked him what business he had in the building. “I’m looking for chalk,” the fellow replied. The principal immediately escorted the former student out of the building “through the nearest door” and called JCSO. The grade-school gadabout was long gone by the time deputies arrived, but a few minutes alone with his permanent record revealed that he had, indeed, been a student there some 20 years previous, that he had no criminal entanglements, and that he’d been booted out of Conifer High School for aggravated rubber-necking in 2005. The principal said the gawker should consider himself expelled for all time.