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Sheriff's Calls

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An Offbeat Look at Area Crime

That’s 41 too many

EVERGREEN — The Little Cub Creek Road resident wanted to report a washer and dryer stolen, or maybe taken, or possibly unknowingly misappropriated, but definitely missing. He’d bought the gently used appliances from a friend, he told deputies, and temporarily parked them next to the road at the bottom of the 42-step stairway leading up to his house. Before he could recruit some muscle to help the machines make the climb, they disappeared like not-too-stubborn grass stains. He thought it possible launderers unknown mistook the bulky equipment for “trash or scrap” and helped themselves. Officers took a report, but the appliance abductors made a clean getaway.

 

Outstanding!

EVERGREEN — Visiting from the Centennial State’s Second City on the night of April 26, Miss Colorado Springs popped into a Highway 73 saloon for a few drinks. Almost immediately, her ex-boyfriend started serial-texting to find out where she was. Perhaps unwisely, she told him, and he soon showed up, taking a seat at a table near hers and quietly — but intently — staring at her “like he wanted me to come over and sit down with him.” Perhaps wisely, she didn’t, and after a few minutes he stood up, walked over, plopped his barely touched drink on the table in front of her and declared that he was leaving. He didn’t make it far, though, winding up on a bench out front drinking package beer. When a bar employee told him to move along before the establishment got in trouble for permitting outside booze on the premises, the ex-boyfriend got downright unfriendly, forcing Miss Colorado Springs to, perhaps unwisely, fling herself between the two fellows in the interest of world peace. Fortunately, the ex-boyfriend left without further ugliness, but unfortunately again didn’t get far. When Miss Colorado Springs spied him lurking around her vehicle “like he was waiting for me,” she called JCSO. Since he hadn’t actually said anything threatening, deputies couldn’t arrest the ex-boyfriend for harassment, and since no actual violence had occurred, they couldn’t arrest him for assault. They could, however, arrest him on an outstanding warrant, and did.

 

When it gets hungry enough …

EVERGREEN — Following a brisk evening workout at Buchanan Recreation Center on April 23, she went outside to find the rear license plate missing from her car. The front license plate was still intact, she told deputies, and nothing else appeared to be missing or damaged. Truth is, she had no precise idea when the plate had gone missing, or whether it had been kidnapped or escaped of its own volition. Officers said they’d report the tag stolen, and asked her to let them know if she hears from it.

 

Box on the rocks

EVERGREEN — On the afternoon of April 27, Canterbury Circle’s mailbox rose strong and proud and upright atop its post. On the morning of April 27, it lay in the mud, prostrate beneath its pillar, a humiliated receptacle not fit for junk mail. Canterbury Circle told JCSO deputies the damage wasn’t severe and said he’d put the box back on its pole himself. He also told them he believed his location on an intersection placed his postal repository at increased risk of vandal attack and he wanted officers to take note. They got the message.

 

B movie

PINE JUNCTION — On the afternoon of April 25, Beau asked a JCSO deputy to throw a scare into Bill. According to Beau, Bill is buddies with Bob. Bob is a former boyfriend of Beau’s girlfriend, Belle. A few days before, Beau explained, Bill had stopped by the house Beau and Belle now share, but Beau told him to beat it. Not long after, Beau observed Bill driving his blue VW Bug around the neighborhood and, suspecting bad business, pulled up next to him in the street and bade him begone. Bill went ballistic, unbuckling his seat belt and promising Beau that “the next time you contact me like this, I’ll kill you.” Beau assured deputies that he “didn’t feel threatened” by Bill’s barking because he believed him to be bluffing, but wanted officers to warn Bill against coming by their bungalow again. When contacted, Bill said he’d stopped by the house of Beau and Belle only because Belle “invited me over to meet her new boyfriend.” Bill also admitted threatening to kill Beau, but only because he’d been in the neighborhood to visit his friend Brad when Beau tried to rear-end his Bug while his new girlfriend, Barb, and her baby, Bette, were aboard. Beau told officers he could see how it might have looked to Bill like he was about to ram him, but really he wasn’t. Deputies told both Beau and Bill to bag the baloney and give each other a bodacious berth.