Your call is abhorrent to us
EVERGREEN — The deputy who took the call from Hilltop Drive on the evening of March 22 wasn’t sure exactly what the caller wanted, but then the caller didn’t seem too sure about that either. According to Danny, he and his ex-girlfriend, Danae, had been engaged in a rather nasty text-war that evening in which both threatened to report the other for harassment-by-text. He wondered if he could charge Danae with harassment since, while they’d both used “inappropriate language” in their messaging, Danae’s language was worse, and she used more of it. Since both sides had been talking trash, the deputy explained, Danny’s case was more than a little weak. Shifting gears, Danny said that Danae is on probation and isn’t allowed to imbibe, and if the officer wanted to pay an unannounced visit he could probably find her in violation. The deputy asked Danny if he was simply looking for ways to get Danae arrested. Hearing it put that way, Danny decided he didn’t want Danae arrested but did want the officer to call Danae and set her straight. The officer explained that if he called Danae she’d be free to give her side of the story, which might not be as sympathetic to Danny as his own and would very likely result in a counter-charge of harassment. Viewed in that light, Danny agreed it might be best not to stir the pot. The deputy suggested Danny inform JCSO if Danae continued sending unwanted texts. Danny told the officer that Danae had already stopped sending unwanted texts, and said he’d only called to report her in case Danae really planned to call and report him. It must be assumed the deputy responded in a polite and professional manner.
Clothing queen wears out her welcome
CONIFER — Chloe sells clothes, and lately she’s been consigning a portion of her stock to a shop owned by Connie. On the afternoon of March 19, Connie phoned JCSO to report that Chloe was giving her the business, and that she felt less than gently used. Questioned by officers, Chloe complained that Connie hasn’t been displaying her duds on the sales floor where customers can get at them, and putting Chloe off with some weak tea about her inventory not being “in the computer.” What’s more, Chloe crabbed, Connie has been slow to pay her for pantaloons purchased and certain display items she’d provided. In short, Chloe concluded, she was pulling out of Connie’s concern and taking her tops, trousers and toggery with her. Deputies allowed it was Chloe’s right to grab her garments, but said if Connie objected the case would have to be settled in civil court. Until that time, they advised, she’d do well to bypass Connie’s boutique. Chloe said she understood, then cooperated fully as officer arrested her on an outstanding warrant. Connie said she’d hang onto Chloe’s collection until she was free to re-collect it.
Suspect may be wearing a truss
SOUTH TURKEY CREEK — The Firehouse Hill Road resident phoned JCSO on March 20 to report a purloined pump. For about 25 years, she told deputies, she’s displayed the 130-year-old cast-iron well pump in her front yard about 4 feet from the road. More recently she hauled the rustic relic closer to the house and made it the antique centerpiece of her landscaping scheme. Sometime around March 6, she noticed the star player missing from her ensemble cast but hesitated to report it “in case it shows up unexpectedly.” Not unexpectedly, it didn’t, and now she wanted officers to retrieve the artifact ASAP. As to suspects, she named both a quarrelsome neighbor and “an acquaintance of my daughter,” and said she “wouldn’t be surprised if it was a ‘scraper’ ” who wanted the 6-foot, 60-pound monster merely for its metal content. Deputies said they’d try to flush out the culprit.