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Sheriff's Calls

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The nerve of some people

EVERGREEN — Rob called JCSO on the evening of Jan. 23 to accuse Jerry of harassing him. The responding deputy asked Rob to explain the problem. Rob explained that he has, for some time, been encouraging Jerry’s wife, Millie, to leave him, or to at least call the cops whenever Jerry gets disagreeable. Trouble is, Millie won’t do either, obligating poor Rob to periodically send cops to Jerry’s and Millie’s house. Imagine Rob’s frustration when Millie just tells officers that everything is fine and the cops leave without taking Jerry with them in handcuffs. Disgusted, Rob recently decided he is “done” meddling in the affairs of Jerry and Millie, although not so “done” that he doesn’t maintain frequent contact with Millie. The problem now, said Rob, finally getting to the heart of his harassment charge, is that Jerry has begun sending him e-mails and social networking requests. Rob responded by ordering Jerry to stop communicating with him. Jerry communicated with Rob anyway, demanding that he stop communicating with Millie. The deputy told Rob that the situation as described does not meet the legal definition of harassment, and advised him to leave management of Jerry’s and Millie’s marital affairs to Jerry and Millie.

 

Drive-thru banking

EVERGREEN — A thoughtful friend called Jack on the afternoon of Jan. 24 to say he’d found something belonging to him in the parking lot of a Bergen Park grocery. Specifically, he’d found a premium check Jack had written to his insurer and placed in his Kerr Gulch mailbox for collection perhaps two days earlier. As if that wasn’t alarming enough, it occurred to Jack that he’d posted several checks on that day, and after a flurry of frantic phoning confirmed that none of them had yet reached their intended recipient, he called JCSO. A deputy noted that while Jack’s mailbox features a locked compartment for incoming mail, the outgoing compartment enjoys no such protection. The officer further noted that the chiseled check was no longer in company with its envelope and “appeared to have been run over a few times,” calling its continuing value as a financial instrument into serious question. Jack told the deputy his mail carrier generally comes by in midafternoon, and that he had no idea if others in his neighborhood had been losing mail. The deputy advised Jack to give the remaining checks a couple more days to reach their addressees before giving them up for lost, and to monitor his bank account to see who, if anyone, tries to cash them.

 

Evidence vault

EVERGREEN — While patrolling Main Street about 3 a.m. Jan. 23, an alert JCSO deputy noticed a white Toyota pickup truck parked all alone in the downtown lot with its bed backed up against Bear Creek. While that didn’t set the officer’s Spidey-sense a-tingle, the contents of the unoccupied truck’s bed did. A dark-colored safe about the size of a 10-gallon-hat box lay there, reclining on its back, its stout steel sides blanketed with dust and grime and rust and neglect, its dial long gone, staring blindly into the black heavens above. A pair of bullet holes insulted its front, and a row of determined drill holes in its door gave evidence of how jealously it had guarded its former contents. Inquiries revealed that a safe of generally matching description had fallen prey to burglary some months before. The officer next tried to contact the truck’s listed owner at his Wheat Ridge home, but without success. With little to go on but that riddled wreckage of riches’ ruined refuge, the vexed deputy vowed to persevere in divining the vacant vault’s violator.

 

 

Not cool, dude

CONIFER — Opening the Conifer Road ribs’n’bibs restaurant each day is customarily up to Early Guy. When he summoned a JCSO deputy on the morning of Jan. 24, Early Guy was hot under the collar about a not-so-cold case. Somebody, he explained, has been turning off the barbecue beanery’s external walk-in cooler during the night, and while he’s so far clocked in with ample time to rescue the refrigerated rations, if his Casio alarm-radio ever fails, there could be a brisket-astrophy. As to suspects, Early Guy had already ruled out a disgruntled ex-employee on the grounds that anybody who knew the place would know how to cause a lot more trouble with much less effort. He suspected local kids out on midnight mischief missions, and he wanted their dirty deeds documented. The deputy suggested installing a locking case for the cooler’s on/off switch, which Early Guy said was already in the works. He also said surveillance cameras would be installed in short order. The officer praised Early Guy’s commitment to proper food refrigeration and the tanginess of his “bloomin’ onion” dipping sauce.