EVERGREEN — Mr. Cool pulled into an Evergreen Parkway gas-‘n’-go on the afternoon of Sept. 25. He topped off his white Dodge Caravan, then went inside and filled two cups with ice. Sidling up to the counter to settle accounts, he was immediately outraged to learn that his account included a double-dip of cold cubed comfort. He demanded the clerk remove the ice charge. The clerk declined, explaining that it’s not the store’s policy to dispense either cups or ice for free. In protest, Mr. Cool threw the ice into the air and stormed out, spitting on the sidewalk before driving off in a cold rage. Fearing the hot-tempered patron might return, the clerk notified JCSO. The clerk told deputies the man was not a familiar face in the establishment, but suggested that Mr. Cool might be a painter because “paint was on his clothes.” The case of the costly cubes remains cold.
EL RANCHO — Arriving to work bright and early on Sept. 27, the tire store manager called JCSO after discovering that his inventory of reject rubber had expanded significantly overnight. His tire-disposal area runneth over, he explained to deputies, with a bothersome bounty of treadless trash, most of it brands the store doesn’t handle. In reviewing parking lot surveillance tapes, officers observed a mysterious white “box-type” truck idling next to the building about midnight, but could discern no license plate number, no distinguishing markings, and no persons associated with the vehicle. A more thorough examination of the balding bequest revealed 72 ruinous radials left without leave. Until new evidence provides some traction, investigators are just spinning their wheels.
Girls gone wild
CONIFER — The commandos arrived by night, mustering in the high school’s junior parking lot about 9:30 p.m. on Sept. 23 and fanning out onto the softball field with stealthy purpose. It took them just 45 minutes to accomplish their dark mission, and they melted away like ghosts. The attack had been swift but devastating. Approximately 500 Dixie Cups had been strewn across the field like mines, all of them filled with dirt, and many apparently containing urine as well. Worse, the visitors’ dugout had been assaulted with black-and-white paint grenades, and the chilling message “COUGARS EAT LOBOS” had been spelled out on the grass in Solo-brand drinking cups. It took custodial staff two desperate hours to restore the field to fighting trim, an assistant principal told deputies, and countermeasures had already been deployed. Electronic surveillance assets captured the ambuscade debarking from its personnel carriers — eight girls from what may be a Chevy Suburban or Ford Excursion, and two more from a gray or silver fast-strike sedan — and a copy of that intelligence had been dispatched by courier to Cougar HQ. Deputies were also given a copy for their report, and while no court-martial proceedings are anticipated, the rogue pep squad can expect some blowback.
Credit-card con catches credulous clerk
CONIFER — The man who called the Kings Valley Drive gas mart on Sept. 25 introduced himself as John and told the clerk he was a regional manager who needed her assistance to “prevent telephone fraud.” John instructed the clerk to select a reloadable gift card from the store display and charge it to maximum value. The clerk told John she was “uncomfortable” conducting transactions over the phone because her supervisor had cautioned her against conducting transactions over the phone and signs posted all over the store forbade conducting transactions over the phone. Not to worry, John soothed over the phone. He would definitely call her back in a few minutes to confirm the transaction and show her how to deactivate the card and refund the funds. Moments after the clerk loaded the card, a company monitor called to ask if the transaction had taken place in person or over the phone. The clerk said it was done over the phone, but it was OK because it was for John, a district manager interested in preventing telephone fraud. The monitor told her there were no district managers named John and that she was facilitating telephone fraud. When John called moments later to confirm the transaction and was told it had been nixed at the source, he couldn’t hang up fast enough. Deputies took the clerk’s report and advised her against conducting transactions over the phone.