Seceding from rational thought

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By Greg Romberg

Just think of the opportunities secession will give to Coloradans from all walks of life. Once we rid ourselves of that evil scourge that’s haunted us since we became a state a tortuous 136 years ago, we can move on and meet our true destiny.

First and foremost, our unemployment rate should plummet as we take over all those things the federal government has been doing. I’m thinking that being secretary of the Navy would be a pretty good job in our new government. Sailing the high seas of Dillon Reservoir to protect the good people of Summit County from enemy attack will be very rewarding and challenging work.
Once we get the government of the SUSC (Somewhat United State of Colorado) set up and running, we’ll need to move fast to get ahead of the other secession states. We should commission Lee Greenwood to pen our new state song, “God Bless the SUSC” and ensure that he’ll be able to headline the first concert of our national fair in Pueblo.
Immigration policy will need to be handled quickly as well. We’ve long debated the value of having people from places like California and Texas migrating to our shores. Now that we’re on the verge of independence, we can do so much more than talk about it. The job of secretary of state will go from overseeing elections and business records to conducting high-level diplomatic negotiations with the likes of other newly seceded unions in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, North Carolina, Tennessee and Texas.
It’s hard to imagine that, as of last week, almost 22,000 people have affixed their names to the online secession petition that asserts that Colorado should remove itself from the United States because, as the petition states, “governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, that whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it, and institute new government,”
The idea of our leaving the United States and forming our own government is ludicrous. The only thing that is more ludicrous is stopping to think about how we might do it.
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To me, the most disturbing thing about the University of Colorado’s untimely and unceremonious firing of Jon Embree as its football coach is the graceless way in which it was handled. The one thing that we must demand from our public institutions is integrity. CU’s leaders acknowledged the mess Embree inherited and regularly affirmed that he would have reasonable time to address it. Pulling the plug prematurely and in a way that made previous actions and statements into lies is a much more damning stain on CU’s reputation than a losing football team could ever be.

Greg Romberg is president of Romberg and Associates, a government relations and public affairs firm. He lives in Evergreen with his wife, Laurie, and three daughters.